Tuesday, October 7, 2008

I don't like to think

Now, I've never been a big dream person, mostly because I never really recall them. Every few years I have the snake dream, where I relive in my sleep the snake that chased me when I was 7 or 8 when I stepped off the deck at our cabin. The grown ups yelling "RUN" and my dad and grandad beating the ground behind me with their fishing rods. I never much had any use for snakes after that, except as handbags and belts.

And there's once or twice dreaming I never finished all my college courses and am a fraud, soon to be found out. This was improved on by dreaming a variation on that theme: that the biology lab I was late to that one time as a sophomore I really didn't get credit for, and the school called to tell me my degree was invalid and they only just figured it out (10 years later).

Then there's the one where I would look in the mirror and my teeth would fall out one by one in a perfect arc into the sink. Pedestal sink. With an antique mirror above it. This was sufficiently disturbing enough that when I had it for the 3rd time I looked this one up. It meant I had something to say that I was keeping bottled up - the teeth falling out symbolized expressing myself - although in my family it could have just meant periodontic disease.

Oh and there was the one about falling. Call me crazy, but I kind of liked that one.

And now this.

Two weeks ago I awoke and recalled a most bizarre dream. It went something like this:

Someone gave me a baby. As in, "here, would you like one? That's good then, off you go." Yes, I said a newborn, infant, dependent, helpless baby.

I left the baby everywhere. In the cold. Outdoors. I vaguely recall going outside and on all fours looking inside a large metal box and retrieving said baby from the box. Where I left it. Of course, I didn't dream the actual leaving of, only the retrieving and knowing I left it.

I forgot to feed the baby.

All the while, I was traveling to who knows where by a wagon drawn by horses. I recognized the road I was on, it was the road from my hometown to the state capital, at the point where the road curves to the right and then goes up and down several small hills and the state troopers can wait out of site on the road that runs between the northbound 2 lanes and the southbound 2 lanes.

Traveling by wagon, drawn by horses, on the road to the state capital, in the moonlight. With a newborn. In the cold.

At the end of the dream (day?) I ended up sitting on a sofa in front of the fire, and someone came in from outdoors with a small bundle and said, "you left this outside".

Where did this come from?

I don't like to think.


  1. Thanks for stopping by my blog! It meant alot to me! I occasionally have dreams that also make me weary of thinking about the dream...so, you are in company. I liked your depiction though...to me, it means you are a careful person who has fears of letting others down...very compassionate and loving. That is my interpretation at least. I really like your blog and will be back to visit often!!

    My email at work is mcharbonneau@metrolab.org We work on projects nationally and have a 7 day turn around on Phase I and TSA reports...very competively priced. We also perform Phase II and BEA assessments. We specialize in ust compliance (gas stations and dry cleaners do not scare us!!!) and regularly work hand in hand with CDC and SBA loans to gain approval and not denial! Let's do some work together!!! Let me know.


  2. ha! that is a great dream.

    did the baby seem important or not important to you?

    since babies are usually cute, cuddly and highly valued, then i would say you are losing track of something in your life that is cute, cuddly and highly valued.

    on the other hand, babies can be a pain in the butt obligation which on a bad day a parent might regret having. so, you could be *trying* to lose something which is a pain in the butt obligation however it keeps getting brought back to you.

  3. Marlene - thanks for stopping by. I know the baby part was triggered by my single neighbor adopting. It was such a shock after not seeing much of her for the first two years after I moved in...and I like your interpretation of the dream - I do not like to let others down...

    Mary - you really have this dream interpretation in hand! The thing I have struggled with losing lately is my MEMORY - it used to be so wonderful. On the other hand, not sure what I'm trying to lose or leave behind. I'll have to think about that.

  4. I always try and control my dreams ... like trying to make myself grow nice long fingernails, or have Michael Vartan show up and propose. Important things like that! Love your puppies! My little 1/2 golden would fit in so well with those guys : )



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