Friday, November 6, 2009

Dear Dr. Vet

Dear Dr. Vet,

Just a quick note to let you know that Management has cut back on my food as you instructed.

Yea. About that: ttthhhpppptttt!

Management has shown no empathy, so I have taken matters into my own hands paws snout.

Tuesday night, I supplemented the lame amount of kibble you recommended with a stick of butter, wrapper and all (One merely has to keep one's eyes open around here for counter opportunities). Roughage is good, yes? Management then called the emergency clinic who said not to worry, that things might be a little loose but should be okay. Whatever.

Wednesday night, when Management showed no signs of learning from experience, I took an avocado off the counter when Management went to answer the phone - avocados are the good fat, and it was tasty. Except for the seed. I spit that out, but not until after crunching it into bits so that Management could worry about potential toxicity. Management googled avocados, avocado seeds and something about @#$%! golden retrievers but didn't call the emergency clinic.

Last night was slim pickings, until Management produced a chew that kept me occupied for an hour or so. That's what I'm talking about. Toss a dog a bone, why don't you?

I'll keep you posted, but my money's on me.

Your pal,


P.S. Cotton goes by the rules. But only because she can't reach the counter.


  1. Dear Gus,

    There is nothing worse than a small scoop of kibble. I think you have shown great culinary skills in adding the sweet taste of butter and tropical flavor of avocado to your diet. Everybody knows what your dried up crunchies really needs is a drizzling of warm chocolate sauce and a dollop of whipped cream. Alas, that would surely mean a trip to the ER.

    Has management tried to convince you this diet thing is for your own good? Just think how sleek and agile you will be if you take off the allotted number of pounds. I bet you'll get to the point you can chase squirrels and catch them. Mmmm. Squirrel. Now that's a meal fit for a dog.

    A word to management: I'm trying to figure out a way to pay a $700 bill for my cat. I may have to give up blogging for cleaning cages at the hospital! Glad to know your Gus has not gotten himself sick.

  2. Dear Gus~
    At least you have yet to discover the tastiness of socks. Cy, the black lab at my abode has taken to eating them in protest over the change in diet. He is no longer able to access the kitten chow and inhale it whilst no one is looking. In retribution to the managements placing the food on-top the dryer where kitty can reach but he can not, he is eating socks.
    Teenage feet must have an acquired taste. Best of luck on your hunt for extra noms.



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